Ack. I'm in the lab. Boy am I toastin'. Y'know, 8 years ago I wouldn't have been able to walk across the room, and it's only through sheer force of will I'm able to type this out. I'm drunk again. But it's not like 16-year old drunk where it's anything goes, it's more like Gawd what a roller-coaster.
Last night at the show I met a girl I knew back in high school. Natalie Natchawati. Said DRD was her fave local band. Interesting.
The party was mostly fun. Even though it wasn't 'life of the party' fun, it was fun just to be an observer and soldier. By about 10:30, my immune system had succumbed to the poison that is alcohol and I changed into 'drunk Kevin' who, oddly enough, isn't substantially different than 'Kevin'. He laughs alot more, but only sometimes (damn, he doesn't know how to type, either!!). I mean, if you don't know me, I'm not a 'mean drunk', never have been (grabbing Tina Hatcher's breasts at age 16 in front of her husband excepted, but I WAS 16). I don't change that much, just become sometimes more talkative, sometimes more withdrawn, often able to carry on legitimate conversations...
Met a few nice people. I was impressed with George (whose idea this get-together was), I thought he was a very upfront, forward, no BS kind of person. Jen (birthday girl) had me cracking up. Won't forget her spikes or the balloon or the monkey play any time soon. The guy in the yellow shirt (damn, what was his name?) was pretty cool. Got some actual career type advice from a nice guy about the RDCC (????). Talked to a girl named Christina. Met a guy named Dave, real nice guy.
You know, I've a;ways tried to describe for myself what it's like to be on certain drugs (and I've tried a bunch) while on them so as to help my sober self remember. I always had this notion (especially with pot) that a drug-induced state should be some kind of learning experience.
So, with that in mind... It's hard to type. I make typos with virtually every other word, but I'm also able to correct them (believe me, I'm spending beaucoups of time correcting). It feels like my concentration is being used, strenuously, to keep me 'in' this world. Like I very easily start slipping, start devolving into fits of suffocating laughter. But of course since about 18 years old it's been like this. Ohh, you should see my REAL diary, the one NOBODY sees. I have my top 20 drug experiences listed and described. Anyway. I remember when I used to get drunk around M and I'd get 'hyper-horny'. It feels like I want to be able to fly. But I'm stuck here on the ground, and besides that I'm stuck trying to act normal so people around me don't get too annoyed. Especially here. I have to appear more or less normal. Although these 15 or so people here in the lab at 3:11 am on a Saturday night aren't exactly normal themlselves, are they?
It feels like juice. Like flowing maple syrup. Warm. Warm and caring. Much different than drinking at Hooter's eating Buffalo Wings watching the game. It's times like these I'm almost more honest and wish I had someone to curl up with. But that will pass.
A-n-y-ways. I'm here without my notes and to tell the truth my mind is kind of coming up blank. I kind of want to go home and collapse. That should be an exciting walk, eh? Oh I have Elmer's glue in my hair. Hehe. I'm hungry. I want some cheesecake. Damn I don't even know what happened in the world today. Hold on... Okay... 10 dead in Japan, bombs in Indonesia (Jakarta, home city of Ingrid, whom I had a gigantic crush on exactly 2 years ago), 'G8 Summit Impact Uncertain', answers sought in Levy case. Yawn.
I feel I need not to get drunk. Does some weird kind of Otherland project things to me, phases me in and out of different copies of my own self.
Geez, what I else can I say here? I think it's time for me to leave, walk the treacherous 3/4 mile home, and take a cold shower, eh?