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It's a luscious mix of words and tricks
That let us bet when you know we should fold

--Well, God is at it again. He told another mother to kill all of her kids, and she did it. Dang, one more of these incredibly similar multi-murders-by-mothers and I'll have to reconsider my atheism.

--The following is an actual sub-headline from Airline passengers who rely on cats, monkeys or other animals for emotional support may be able to bring the animals into a plane's seating compartment under revised federal guidelines.

--Are you ready for "marijuana-scented" celphone covers? Yup. Do they have ones that smell like a smoldering cigarette? How about a one-hundred year old circus tent? These days you can play games on your cel, online games even, take pictures and send them, get on the net, send emails, plan your day, listen to MP3s, etc. Maybe it would be nice if they could improve the reception and reliability. What they need is a "damping field" so professors can force celphones not to ring in class.

--Al Qaeda is at it again in Saudi Arabia, just in time for Colin Powell's arrival. You can't keep a vicious international terrorist organization down for long. Several car bombs. Ten Americans are dead so far.

An interesting note about Iraq is that there is more electricity flowing in Baghdad right now than there's been at any time during the past twelve years. Didn't take us long, did it?

--There are a few movies coming out I'll have to catch on DVD some day. Wait, two I have to watch, one I just want to make fun of a little. First, Pixar (Toy Story, A Bug's Life, Monsters Inc.) has a really good-looking underwater character animation movie coming out called Finding Nemo. Pixar movies are always a treat (as are other films like Antz, Shrek, and Final Fantasy). Second, Jim Carrey has a new film coming out entitled Bruce Almighty, in which he acquires the powers of God! Carrey chooses some great scripts (Liar, Liar and The Truman Show are my favorites). Third, the sequel to The Fast and the Furriest is called 2Fast, 2Furious. Ugh. Say it with me, Ugh. I remember when they were doing the "casting call" for this movie, auditioning suped-up cars. That was cool. This isn't. But it's better than Biker Boyz or Torque.

I can't sit and make myself want nothing
But I won't go knocking on doors
To find out how many tickets
To me I can sell

--I found out why my eyes might be burning. There are huge fires raging in South America somewhere, and the wind is blowing the particulates all the way up here to Texas. That would explain why it's mostly my eyes and my sinuses are more or less okay.

--I defrosted. It took a couple hours. Three inches of very thick ice on the bottom, a couple inches on the inside roof and on the top. It took a fucking long time and was extremely annoying. My next apartment, I've decided, MUST have a real fridge. I don't care about a gym, pool, free cable internet, concierge, rec room, fireplace, etc., I just want a real working fridge.

--Early E3 news: Gran Turismo 4 is a reality and a big leap in content over 3 (as 2 was over 1). Viewtiful Joe looks really cool, as does the new 2.5D Mega Man game (it's almost a relief to finally see Mega Man enemies in 3D). There's wild speculation that Doom ]|[ will be delayed for PC so the Xbox version can have a free run for a little while (the PC folks are already screaming boycott). And about a million other things.

--I highly recommend Amazon's Marketplace service. I might not buy another new game or CD again. I've found CDs there for $0.03 (plus a lil shipping). I don't know about the ratings system though. I wonder what the aggregate average rating for all CDs at Amazon is. Probably 4 1/2 out of 5 stars. Every album is the best ever according to those folks. I've bought alot of really crappy CDs in my life, but some fanboy somewhere will love anything, even Teenage Fanclub's Thirteen or the first Meat Puppets album, and rate it 5 stars. It's rating inflation.

I was feeling the weight of the atmosphere
And those I know weren't looking overjoyed I'm here

--Crooked, wild-eyed, wacko conspiracy theorist Michael Moore says he's going to "uncover" (read: fabricate) a vast conspiracy involving 9/11, the Bush family, the bin Laden family, etc. in a new documentary movie funded by Disney. A funny note is that Mel Gibson's film company was going to fund Moore in some documentary, and then Gibson dropped him after his comments at the Oscars.

--The new $20 bill will be unveiled today. It's supposed to be orange-tinted with blue highlights (the design is supposedly top-secret, but the word is out). Fort Worth makes over half the paper dollars for the whole country. The bills should circulate by Fall. I guess they're not going to make multiple colors for each denomination. Each denomination will have its own wicked color scheme. How about that? Let the jokes about Monopoly money begin. We're the only country which has similarly-colored money. Orange twenties will be odd though. Won't affect me much--I don't use paper money. Who needs it?

--I thought THIS was a very interesting news story. Steve Jobs coming in to rescue the music industry from its pathetically outdated business model and refusal to adapt. Apple has sold over four times as many songs as record industry folks were hoping for in the first week. And it's just catching on. It's this: $0.99 per song, any song in the world, no matter what the song, and then you get to keep it forever, record it to CD, own it, etc. Sounds good, but that means older Guided by Voices albums will cost almost $30. Actually, I might be totally off on this, but it sounds like the RIAA and Apple will begin to profit from sales of songs by indie acts and labels, or things that were never meant to be bought and sold. Am I right, or am I being dumb?

I heard what I said to you
And it was so out of sync
With the way I wanted to
Make myself out to seem
I don't like this air
But that doesn't mean
I'll stop breathing it
Who doesn't think they're at
The center of the universe
Being it

--Didja hear about the Texas legislature? The Democrats picking up and leaving for Oklahoma? Fifty-three Dems said "we're leaving and we're not coming back till after Thursday". There's a law: when a quorum is BUSTED by conspiracy, those members shall be arrested and forced to serve. So they went all the way to Oklahoma. They think they can't be arrested there, and I think they're right. They're HIDING anyway. One of the fifty-three is Dallas mayor Laura Miller's husband.

There are bills on the table (hundreds of them) which, if they aren't voted on by Thursday, will die on the table. For the FIRST TIME since the Civil War, the conservative party has a majority in the Texas House. But they can't vote without a quorum. So the Democraps throw a temper tantrum, and say it's not fair, and take off, refusing to do the jobs for which they were elected. It's so ridiculous and yet not really that surprising an act for liberal politicians. The Governor will probably call a special session of the Texas legislature. Maybe there should be a line of succession set up for public officials who willfully refuse to cooperate; maybe the conservative candidate who lost each position should be allowed to step in. There should be some sort of referendum or proxy system anyway.

It's one thing for children to act like this. These are supposed to be our public servants, professionals. How dare they try to dictate what the legislature should do with these pathetic antics. They managed to destroy a majority that existed for over a century with their poor fiscal choices and invasive laws and their trend toward increasingly marginal policies and programs which don't reflect the will of the majority. Now they want to pitch a fit, take their ball, and go home and hold their breath. What a disgrace. And taxpayers are paying for their vacation. The Democrats should be brought back in handcuffs or billed personally for the special session.

One of the laws to be voted on would get rid of "Robin Hood" once and for all. Robin Hood is the quintessential liberal program, one which ensures mediocre education for all Texas public school students and raises property taxes by stealing the money from affluent districts and giving it to less well-off ones (all in the name of... ahem... "fairness"--what the hell's fair about that??). No wonder the liberals are running away, Robin Hood is their BABY, and now we finally have a chance to get rid of that garbage! Others would kill off all kinds of lawyer businesses by limiting the rewards for torts to "reasonable" amounts (which party do you think most tort lawyers vote with?), provide penalties for frivolous lawsuits, redistrict the previously gerrymandered voting district lines, fix the budget deficit, and control homeowner's insurance.

This zoo they're running will kill the Democratic party in Austin. This is a slap in the face to democratic process. The people will remember what these selfish, arrogant pricks have done. The phrase "sore losers" will stick like glue to those guys. What's worse though, the fact that they left, or the fact that they'll eventually be back?

*I got my news from the Austin-American Statesman and TXCN.

Pale pubescent beasts
Roam through the streets
And coffee-shops
Their prey gather in herds
Of stiff knee-length skirts
And white ankle-socks
But while they search for a mate
My type hibernate
In bedrooms above
Composing their songs
Of love